anxious

april 1st is the day i plan to open the shop. april first and then the plan is to do a painting every day in april. i think i should be able to create a painting a day (maybe more!) and then photograph them and upload them by the end of the week or something. it's funny (and i know i've already mentioned this but) how annoying it can be to have to photograph things. i think mainly because i feel like i can never get it at just the right angle without it looking lopsided or not right. in my mind, people will only buy completely symmetrical photographed paintings. and when i photograph them it always seems to be at a bit of an angle. it's hard because i want to photograph them in the sun but then when it's sunny i can't really see what i'm doing.

another problem that makes me nervous/anxious is self promotion. i want people to see my paintings and buy my paintings and enjoy my paintings as much as i do... but i don't want people judging my paintings or critiquing my paintings or thinking that i think i'm better than anyone else. i know all of these things are likely to happen. and i'm hoping that with time i'll be able to develop a thicker skin and be ok with it. but i'm not there yet.

recent uploads: 

 

ahhh! i can't believe this is really happening. also, i can't believe it's still snowing in new hampshire and it's going to be april on wednesday. can someone please let the weather know that spring has arrived and we would appreciate some more appropriate temperatures?

i almost did it

i almost hit open shop today. i don't know what stopped me except etsy tells you 18 times that you should have ten pieces in your shop and i only have eight. or that for some reason i have my heart set on opening in april. like april is a fresh new start and a brand new world. also, i'm second guessing most of my stuff. but i only have a week to do that. one week before i go live! hello world!

this one i'm not sure about. to me, it screams beach. it's so funny. sometimes i create something and i'm like eh- this is awful. throw it out. then i leave it for a while and i'm like well, maybe? but then i convince myself that no one else would like it. but maybe i should just put it in and see what happens? maybe i'm not giving people enough credit. or myself enough credit. that happens.

the more i look at it in this post the more i think -yes. that would be nine. and it's already photographed. i guess we'll see. i can always keep it around for a back up. 

it's all happening!

i've spent the better part of today trying to figure this all out. trying to get amounts and shipping and pictures just right. man, i didn't realize how much effort had to be put in behind the scenes in order to have everything look and work out ok!

but this is just round one. i'm sure, with time, i will be able to do it faster and have a better understanding of what i'm doing. taking photographs of your work? terrible. i'm a TERRIBLE photographer anyhow and i feel like i can never get it quite right. a painting? i know when that's finished but a photograph - i feel like that's a whole different ball game. and one that i never quite got the technique to try.

is there some way out there i could just paint and you would magically know what i made? no? ok. i'll keep trying.

i think i want to get a few more paintings up on the site before i go live.

other things i've realized with time and practice:

• i don't paint as well on my bed. sure it's great to be able to sit in bed and paint. but i have no where to put things, bart is constantly walking on my paintings, i'm worried about my rinse water falling on my bed, i'm worried about drinking my rinse water... it's just bad. so i need a definite painting place. 
• i worry a lot. i worry about pricing, losing stuff in the mail, people hating me/my stuff, nothing selling... all things i either can't control or won't know for sure until i actually set sail. make my stupid worries go away please.
• i'm loving every minute of this. i love the distraction from my every day life. i love that it's forcing me to create and spend my time wisely. i love that i'm doing something with my art degree and i'm LOVING this journey. now please continue reminding me of that during my next freak out session.

march beginnings

 

spring please

 

i haven't even taken this one off my pad yet. it's my favorite though.
i call it miss piggy. i'm wondering if i should buy frames. also, how do you make a digital print? do i have to become friends with someone at a print shop? because the people who work in the ones around me are not very nice.

february 2015

this is my start. obviously the photography needs some serious work but at least here is where i began! 

hello, new world.

i didn't have a name for this one but erik called it earth. 

i think i settled on this one being called flock. 

 .

 this one is germs. i was going to call it tuberculosis but i thought that may be too morose.

this one i call monsters.

 

this one is called ugly sweater.

 

this one is unnamed at the moment. any ideas?

i have officially created art

i don't have pictures yet. but i will.

it's amazing. i sat down one day and within an hour or two i had created a bunch of different pieces. i had a vision in my head and these pieces turned out NOTHING like that.... oh well, that's how it goes sometimes.

and out of the 15 pieces or so i created i think about 4 are worthy of me doing anything further. i half wonder if i'm limiting myself. like maybe people would like the other pieces just as much but because i don't feel like they look finished or look like something i would want on my wall, i'm stunting myself. we'll see how it goes.

for now i have a few more parts of the puzzle to put together before i'm able to get my shop up and going. obviously taking photographs is one of those things but i also need to purchase some more paper and get some odds and ends together. set up my banner. all that jazz. and then i'm going to put myself out into the world and see what happens.

and that... is terrifying.